BH
It's late. After a day of guests, preparing big meals for lots of kids and cleaning the house from the tornado of life, I finally sit down at the computer to take some time for myself. Aaaah. Quiet at last. What? What are you yelling to me from upstairs? You forgot you have a project due on Monday and haven’t prepared anything? Ok. Another child interjects, I feel sick. One more voice pops up, “I need one more hug.” I think I addressed everyone’s needs temporarily so I can get back to focusing.
So where do I start? A little background information will give you insight into why I decided to tackle the million dollar question, “How can a be the best parent possible” Disclaimer: I am no more the best parent ever then you are but as a mother of ten I certainly have some insight that will help you shine in the most challenging and precious role that most of humanity attempts to undertake.
I grew up as the youngest of two girls. I always knew I wanted a big family but did not really make that a life goal. After shifting my life from a very secular reality as a cheerleader, Phish fan, sarcastic Jersey girl to a deeply spiritual, seeker of wisdom, devoted wife, and mother of ten.
Through the broadening of my perspective, I payed attention to the intricacies of human nature. I become open and interested in seeing the unique composition of each individual. I am hopelessly optimistic and see the Infinite potential we all possess. It is from this vantage point that I come to you to offer a glimpse into the journey of parenting and how to be better.
Trust Yourself-
We start out this journey being handed the most precious, mysterious and fragile gift. All the potential and protection for this life rests immediately upon our shoulders whether we are ready or not. For many this may bring along a fear and a voice of self doubt. Unfortunately this voice will haunt you throughout your journey. The first step to grow into the shoes of the great parent you are meant to be is to quiet this voice.
The logistics of a newborn are complicated and often, extra support is crucial. Sometimes this can come in the form of a pro, someone who has the experience we can learn from. At times the help will come from a book or video that will temporarily make us feel like we know what we are doing. Regardless of how we survive and hopefully thrive in these early days, we can take one important lesson. We are capable of a lot more than we ever thought possible. This lesson will carry through the ups and downs of your parenting journey. As much as you are learning how to tend to another life, you are also learning about yourself. A mother or father will greatly benefit to seeing their parenting as a personal journey just as much as a journey as a family. This is the greatest opportunity one has to truly express who they are in creating an outgrowth of their very being as well as coming to terms with our own ability to nurture, protect, and guide another human life. We must do all this while still maintaining our own identity and allowing our own identity to expand and shift.
There is a mystical Jewish belief that before a soul enters into a body, it is allowed to choose the parents that will give it the best guidance through the journey of life. Some will learn the life lessons in spite of their parents and others will learn the life lessons because of the parents. This means that the symphony of our successes and failures are custom made for our child. Needless to say, this is only applicable to someone who truly cares and is invested in the well being of their child. This is for a healthy family that is going to experience leaps forward and real setbacks.
Trust yourself and trust the process.
It takes a Village
Your spouse, Your partner
Seemlesness and Boundries